


The Hawkeye Regulation

by aww_clint_no



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship, The children's book we deserve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 12:23:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1898895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aww_clint_no/pseuds/aww_clint_no
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it's just enough that someone noticed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hawkeye Regulation

He doesn’t have kids, no one within 100 feet of him has kids, and the only children in this building are currently being interrogated for their knowledge of crucial HYDRA weapons caches.

So when Maria Hill casually mentioned the publication of a set of Avengers storybooks aimed at the four-to-seven year old demographic, Phil thought nothing of it, the bare minimum of his attention used only to visualize a set of brightly water coloured pages, and nothing more; there was no warmth ignited by the thought, the concept of having a child of his own simply too fantastical to be worth feeling anything.He rattled off some mild remark about it being fortunate that each of the Avengers happened to have unique colour palettes - a SHIELD-themed kids’ book would be a much too depressing splodge of black and grey - and Hill gave a small smile as she sat on the short edge of Phil’s desk.

“I’ve set aside two copies for you.You can thank me later, with donuts.No other form of appreciation will be necessary, or acceptable.”

“Ave Maria, my collection thanks you. It’ll go straight under ‘Prose Fiction’, comma, ‘Children’s’, hyphen, ‘2012 onwards’,”Phil replied with mild self-mockery.

He moved to sign off on a revised injury reporting protocol, but halfway through his signature, the ink trace ran dry.This protocol was what Phil privately called the “Hawkeye Regulation”; a Frankenstein document filled with endless sections and subsections, clauses and subclauses, built up in a piecemeal fashion over the course of Clint’s career in perpetual reaction to any new way Clint could find to justify not reporting injuries to Phil or to Medical.This current revision had the following amendment:

_3.2.Intangible injuries_

_3.2.1.Injuries pertaining to transferred consciousness_

_Under no circumstances is the asset permitted to leave Psych quarantine without concurrent prior approval from both the asset handler and the shift Senior Medical Officer.Approval is defined for Section 3.2.1. as a written statement, dated and signed, stating that the asset has received no psychological injury due to transferred consciousness, and has received no physical injury due to the transfer of the consciousness of another_ ~~_human_ ~~ _PJC13JAN2013_ _< Append>being, human or animal or artificial or extraterrestrial, into the asset’s body</Append>.Each statement must be appended with a certified copy of the final medical report, which must include proof of psychological consciousness and consistency testing <Append>and a full scan of pain receptors</Append>. The report must also be countersigned by at least _ ~~_ONE_ ~~ _PJC13JAN2013_ _TWO other medical_ ~~_officer_ ~~ _PJC13JAN2013_ _officers, whom by signing, attest that they have read and fully understood the report, and agree with its conclusions and recommendations. <Append>Any evidence of bribery resulting in false approvals will be submitted to the SHIELD Professional Malpractice Investigation Unit, and may be used in future prosecution against the offenders.Please refer to Section 5.3., ‘List of activities construed as bribery’</Append>._

Hardly good toilet reading, however at this point the Hawkeye Regulation could only be ugly but effective.It figured that his pen should stop working on this protocol; it was by far the most troublesome document he has had to keep track of, in his entire career.Although the document was a general SOP for all assets and handlers, the simple fact was that it was written specifically to manage Clint’s behaviour, and Phil liked to see evidence of his care for Clint printed and made official.Since the Battle of New York, there had been reams of paper waxing lyrical about Clint’s professional and physical attributes.

 

“The man they call ‘Hawkeye’ is an acrobatic master archer with exceptional strategic and tactical skills,” said one _Daily Bugle_ editorial.

“…Whose body is at the peak of human conditioning; every muscle, joint, ligament and bone working in perfect synchronicity,” said a _Buzzfeed_ puff piece.

“…And we’d be happy to have Hawkeye use that gorgeous body and sink his arrow in us!” said _US Weekly_ with a questionable metaphor.

 

Accompanying pieces like these were dozens of paparazzi photos, mostly designed to make Clint look as out of Phil’s league as possible. The phrase, ‘I can’t even’ came to mind, an ever-useful saying Phil had picked up during one of his trawls through the Clint Barton and Hawkeye tags on Twitter and Tumblr.Those social-media adventures didn’t last very long, once he started encountering the fantasy drawings; not that they were offensive or anything, just that…Phil had to go to sleep and then work with that same stunning man the next day. Stunning, magnetic, captivating, beautiful; ¡ _La verga de Hawkeye sería tan qué rico como una paleta!_ (Phil learnt _that_ phrase from PornHub comments).

Phil wanted to be part of the public adoration, which was fully deserved, even if Clint always sheepishly talked about it like it was misguided or borne out of confusion.

“Aww, Coulson, it’s just the clothes and makeup talking, and you know it’s just a phase, they’ll move on soon,” Clint would always say, one hand rubbing the back of his neck, and fuck if that didn’t make Phil love him even more.

Unfortunately for Phil, he couldn’t simply take to a private blog and vomit out his thoughts and feelings, so it went into the Hawkeye Regulation instead; each amendment and addendum handwritten with tender loving care, proof of how closely he monitored Clint’s wellbeing, and proof of how desperate he was to keep Clint around.That regulation would be revised, sent to Quality Assurance for check-through, and then the updated version would be published to SHIELD’s central fileserver.His adoration was public for all to see, if they knew what to look for.

Phil replaced the ink barrel of his fountain pen, and scribbled loops on a Post-It note until the ink flowed through the nib smoothly.He struck a single line through the half-formed signature, annotated the line with his initials and date, and signed correctly next to it.He put the pen down, and lightly blew on the ink.

“Aren’t you even curious about what’s in the books?” Maria asked.

“…Should I be?Pepper and SHIELD PR would have combed through it and removed all potential offensiveness out of it.They’re kids books, Maria, not submitted reports to the State Department.”

Maria held out her hand for the Hawkeye Regulation.“Here, I’ll take this down to QA for you.In return, you really should take a quick peek at the books.See how Hawkeye is depicted in cute cartoon form, at least.In fact, I could get in touch with the illustrator, and get a large print of it framed for your wall.Wouldn’t you like that?”She grinned with insinuating glee.

Phil rolled his eyes up at her and froze at the sight of her grin.Slowly handing the document over, he said evenly, “I have no idea what you are talking about.But I will take a look, make sure nothing too egregious made its way to publication.”

“Yes, you do that, Phil,” Maria smirked, as she turned around and left the office.

The books arrived the next day, laid out neatly in the centre of his desk. 

‘The Avengers versus the Frost Giants’ was its title in big white block letters, printed over a blue and grey water-coloured image of Jötunheim, with faint dots of red, green, blue, black, yellow and purple surrounding a massive icy blue Frost Giant. Phil flicked through the pages, and was surprised at the art direction.Though it was watercolour, as Phil had cynically imagined, the style was more in line with what he’d seen at various AvengersCons; there was no tracing, and hence each character had vaguely undefined outlines that were marked by a fading colour gradient instead.There also were no faces, just solid colour for the skin, and when the characters were in action, their outlines were speckled with paint splatter, and their motion paths were represented by paint streaks, as if they had just jumped out of a pool of paint and started zipping around the page.

The climactic battle was spread across two pages, the Jötnar flinging ice bolts left and right, and each of the Avengers was depicted in their amorphous form, with a correspondingly coloured paint streak tracing their movement.The blue-dot Rogers made graceful loops of red, white and blue.Red-dot Stark created angular red and yellow paths in the air, yellow energy pulses firing towards the giants.Green-splodge Banner had an irregular green line, at times wandering left and right, and intermittently leaping on and off the Frost Giants.Yellow-dot Thor was the most static, his yellow line very short as a bolt of lightning struck downwards to his position.Black-dot Romanov was difficult to see amongst the fray, but her path was also relatively short, made up of tight black and red loops and spirals representing her close-quarters artistry.

But of course, it was Clint’s path that captivated Phil’s attention.Purple-dot Hawkeye had a purple and silver streak, and like Natasha, it was full of loops and twists, but it spanned the length of the two pages and was entirely aerial.

Phil could see it in his mind’s eye; Clint leaping off an ice shelf, performing a front flip and twist to avoid an ice bolt whilst simultaneously firing off an explosive arrow, before landing on a giant’s head.Clint jumping off that head, firing another arrow exactly halfway during a 180-degree rotation to delay a second giant, and landing on another ice shelf.Clint leaping just before a swinging Jötunn arm smashed the platform, grabbing onto that arm with one hand and swinging all the way around to gather speed - performing a one-arm ‘front giant’ in the middle of the swing just to be a smartass - and then doing a triple-back dismount onto the ground, bow ready to release a fire arrow.The tapestry woven by the Avengers’ streaks is beautiful, but it’s Clint’s strand that dazzles him with its light-footed style and grace.

Phil studied the picture for another minute, then flipped backwards through the rest of the book.It was more of the same, though with less action and more of the necessary exposition, until he spotted a conspicuously out-of-place watercolour figure on page 13.

The figure was almost entirely in black, with the exception of a negative white space where the face, shirt, and hands should have been.A thin black line extended a third of the way across the face, representing an earpiece, and one hand was wrapped around a black gun.The Avengers stood as a group, facing the figure. On the opposite page, the text read:

 

_“Earth needs you, Avengers,” said Agent Coulson. “Defeat the Jötnar, and we will be safe.”_

_“What if we lose?” said Iron Man._

_“You won’t lose,” replied Agent Coulson.“I believe in you.”_

 

Phil could feel a nervous clutch in his chest, and a rising lump in his throat, followed by a wash of embarrassment. _Him! In a children’s book about the Avengers! Giving the big morale boosting speech!Who had the idea for this?_ Phil knew that this was supposed to be Captain America’s role, and the thought of interfering with Rogers’s duties, even fictionally, was guilt-inducing.He wasn’t meant to be a party to heroism, or obtrusive, and to be acknowledged in print as an associate to the Avengers felt completely wrong.Phil had an itching compulsion to rub the black and white figure off the page with his fingers, and make him invisible, as he should be.

He flicked forward through the book carefully this time, and saw himself once again on the final page, in the halls of Asgard, celebrating with the Avengers and the Æsir gods, seated at the same table, drinking and eating from the same banquet, and he felt a growing agitation at the portrait.This was a false insertion, it smacked of someone trying to make a point, and instead of being flattered, Phil was offended.He didn’t become a Level 7 agent by being won over with cheap platitudes.

Besides, the picture only served to illustrate just _how_ evidently he didn’t belong, a plain black and white avatar in amongst the riot of bright colours.His insipidity contrasted so sharply with Clint’s bright purple and blond splashes, and looking at the image triggered a blossoming pain in his chest.

He left a message on Maria’s phone later that day, after he’d calmed down sufficiently to gather his thoughts.

“I received the books this morning, thank you.I will file one in my collection, and I’ll keep the other for my niece.Regarding my inspection of the book’s contents, I particularly enjoyed the art direction, and if you could pass on my compliments to the illustrator I would be very grateful.However, I have one comment about the inclusion of redundant figures in some of the panels, and I would recommend they be kept to a minimum in the future, to reduce reader confusion.But thanks once again, the box of donuts will be sent up tomorrow.”

A few days later, Phil walked into his office, only to find Clint already laying on his couch, flicking through a copy of The Avengers versus the Frost Giants.Upon Phil’s entrance, Clint put the book down on his chest - Phil winced internally at the creased spine - and said offhandedly, “Hill told me you’d seen the book.Pretty awesome, huh?”

“Yes, Barton, it was really well done.The illustrations were inspired.”Phil sat down, and placed the fresh mug of terrible ashtray-flavoured coffee on his desk.The couch sat against the opposite wall, and Clint turned his head to look at Phil with an emphatic expression.

“Some more inspired than others.”

“The battle scene was excellent.The paint traces were a great way to depict action.”

“The inclusion of certain characters was also excellent,” Clint suggested with a small smile, his eyes gleaming.Phil was having none of it.

“The inclusion was jarring to the story, and unnecessary.”He pulled a paper-clipped document from his in-tray and attempted to casually peruse it.Clint frowned, his forehead creasing and his eyebrows drawn together, as he sat up and turned his legs to the floor.The book was closed, and placed to the side.

“Coulson,” Clint started, and Phil looked up at the serious note in his voice.“It _was_ necessary.”

“No it wasn’t,” Phil retorted immediately, and he cursed his reaction.He took a moment to settle down, before continuing.“The speech should have been performed by Rogers, that’s his duty.That page undermined Captain America’s authority.The agent did not belong in the book.”

“The agent _did_ belong in the book, because there needed to be someone to tell Rogers that he believed in Captain America and the Avengers,” Clint replied.“Otherwise, it’d be a _folie à six_ , with no one to tell us whether the craziness we’re thinking is the right thing to do.There needed to be someone we could trust.”

“And that person you trust, is a plain black and white figure?”

“Coulson,” Clint sighed, his eyes turning puppy-dog forlorn.“I noticed.”

Phil’s blood ran cold. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

“I’ve seen you write your corrections to the injury reporting protocol.You write so carefully, and I’ve seen you get this gentle look on your face as you write it.”Clint looked down at his loosely-clasped hands, his elbows resting on his knees, and his shoulders tense.“Maybe it’s a madness shared by one, but I’ve given you so much trouble by avoiding reporting my injuries, that maybe I thought the protocol was really directed at me.

“I…noticed.And I wanted, I still want, to thank you for caring.I suggested to the writer and illustrator that she should include you in the book.And I was the one to propose the black and white colour scheme.”

The initial burst of warmth Phil felt was quickly doused by Clint’s words.Dull, plain, devoid of spirit - this was what Clint saw in him.It was accurate, but it still hurt to know that Clint knew.

“You don’t get it,” Clint continued, looking up at Phil with burning anger in his eyes, and clenched jaw.“You stand out.Each of us has colours that represent who we are.But we’re deficient in other areas, in other colours. You, you are the best of us, and none of our worst,” Clint uttered, trembling with emotion.“So your tone is black and white.And it’s distinct, amongst all the mess that the colours make.

“I notice you.”

Phil was overcome, his eyes beginning to water and his heart practically bursting out of his chest.To think that Clint paid that much attention to what he did, and put so much thought into an act of thanks, moved him deeply.

“I—thank you, Barton,” Phil stuttered out, looking down at his desk and pinching his eye ducts to stem the impending tears.Clint sat quietly for a minute, waiting for Phil to regain his composure.When he did, Clint replied simply, “You’re welcome, sir.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, some of you may remember this was six chapters long, with no end in sight. In fact, the original idea only went as far as this first chapter, and it was only afterwards that I considered extending the plot.
> 
> Since then, my ambitions have grown, and I want to do my ideas justice, and tacking them onto this piece was not the way to do it. I want to write with a full cast of characters, fully fleshed out with their own arcs and reasons for being, and my writing skills just aren't there yet. So I'm making the decision to delete the other five chapters.
> 
> If any of you out there were waiting for more from this story, you have my sincere apologies. However, I intend to come back bigger and better, and if anyone wants to continue the story of The Hawkeye Regulation, please go for it!


End file.
